LAX EATERS

GABE STERBA

 Entering the Wiener-Burger Invitational as a heavy underdog, Gabe Sterba showed his fellow eaters why he keeps returning to competitions. In a phenomenal display of eating prowess, Sterba nearly handed Trevor "Big Pop-pa" Dammon his first loss, before being disqualified due to a regurgitation on his very last wiener. Though the final standings don't show it, Sterba's performance has launched him to new heights in the eating world, finally proving to his fans that he has a stomach to be reckoned with.

 Q & A with Sterba

 Q: What was going through your mind those fateful last thirty seconds, when the winning wiener was half way down your throat?

A:  I thought everyone was ignorant because for me, the hamburgers were like a long distance run, and the hot dogs were like a sprint, and you never sprint to start a race. 

Q: What do you have to say about the accusations by eaters and fans that you cheated in the wiener portion of the race?

A: Jealousy. That's all.

Q: Do you ever expect to see yourself at the top of the LAX EATERS rankings?

A: I'm a young eater - one of the youngest eaters the LAX EATERS have ever had - and this showed the potential I have.

Q: If it wasn't for the regurgitation, would you have won the competition?

A: It would have been a close match, but knowing Dammon has been training and has a good coach, I think he would have pulled it out int he end. I'm looking for a new coach. 

Q: Do you have any advice for your young aspiring fans?

A: My advice is this: even if you feel weak like I did in your first race like I did, I placed last, there is always tomorrow. I've been eating most of my whole life and I just started doing it as a competition, and it's paid off. It's paid off.

Q: After such a successful competition, do you feel pressure to continue to compete at a high level?

A: No because I know I can only improve. I treat my food like a baby. Sometimes I put headphones on my stomach while I eat to let my food listen to music to help it out.

Q: Are you planning on being in the upcoming egg roll competition?

A: Not only do I plan to be in it, I plan to win, and I will shove everyone else's egg rolls down my face before they have the chance to eat them just to show I am the best.

Q: People say the only reason you succeeded in this race was because of your experience with long cylindrical objects in your throat. What do you have to say about that?

A: No comment. 

Q: How has competitive eating effected not only your life, but the lives of your family and friends?

A: Since I'm doing so well i bring an honor to my family, which is the only reason I started doing this. At first they were worried I would bring the family  disgrace, but that just goes to show you that  a rose by any other name still smells as sweet. 

 Interview by Matt Haupert and Trevor Dammon

 TREVOR "ATLAS" DAMMON

After once again destroying his competition, this time in the grilled cheese eating contest, the "Tiger Woods of competitve eating" made our decision easy for the first Eater of the Week. Now only one difficult question remains: is "Atlas" the world's best competitive eater in La Crosse?

 Q & A with "ATLAS" 

Q: Did you always aspire to be a competitive eater?

A: Not in the womb, but shortly after.

Q: Do you believe you are the best eater that has ever come through the LAX EATERS?

A: Considering I hold every LAX EATERS record and have yet to even be challenged in an eating competition, I would have to say I am the best there was, best there is, and best there ever will be. Mike Tyson, I'm coming for you.

Q: How has competitive eating helped you prepare for your college wrestling career at Iowa State University?

A: Competitive eating has given me the non-stop, no-lose attitude that it takes to be a champion. Without competitive eating, I would still be a little Suzy Lou. If you ain't first, you're last.

Q: How do you feel about fellow eater Mike Czeiska openly telling the media that he could beat you in a Taco eating contest, and that you would fail to even finish in the top three?

A: Some people don't understand competitive eating, and some people are just idiots. Czeiska is an idiot.

Q: How do you deal with the pressure of constantly being expected to finish at the top?

A: Pressure is a self-induced phenomenon. If i start to feel pressure, I eat. And I don't stop eating until there is nothing but a plate. One time a tried to eat the plate, but the judges almost disqualified me.

Q: Do you have any tips for young children aspiring to be great eaters like you on what it takes mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually to be a champion and how to safely but effectively train for a long and successful career?

A: Yes.

Q: What is it like working with hall-of-fame eater and coach and LAX EATERS president Matt Haupert?

A: My coach and I have developed several new techniques to improve IME (inner mouth effieciency). He also brings a charismatic, charming sense to the eating world and inspires me every day to go out there and eat 'til I can't eat no more.

Q: People are beginning to compare you to a young Donald "Moses" Lerman. How do you feel about being compared to one of the great legends of the sport?

A: Don Lerman may not have a brain, but he has a heart, sould and will that I could only hope to match. The day that I can eat with a jaw as strong, hands as fast and a smile as wide as Don "Moses" Lerman is the day I will be on top of the competitive eating world.

Interview by Matt Haupert